your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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