You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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