am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
