i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
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And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
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then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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