You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
