like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
