i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Bring me that man meat
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
