her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
apparently the secret to your success is patron
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
