Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
what is it with giant penises always finding me
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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