it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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