i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize