If i come over, it means nothing
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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