I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
