At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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