Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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