I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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