It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
