Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize