At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
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