Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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