I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
