If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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