He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
