Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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