so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
We named our party play list daddy issues
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
what is it with giant penises always finding me
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Randomize
