PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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