wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize