A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
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There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
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Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
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