Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We need to feng shui this bitch.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
