Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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