I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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