my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
