would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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