Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
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So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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