Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize