This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
