we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
