Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
try to milk me bitch
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
