OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
