eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
