There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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