he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
