what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
