I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
