weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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