i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
