I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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