Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
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It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
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I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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