I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
The air taste purple.
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