I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
