Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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