they need to just BURY HIM!
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
