I wannas sexs uuuuu
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
