How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
