dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
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