hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
