its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
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good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
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I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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