Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
