you guys were way drunker than both of me
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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