She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Randomize
