yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
